All stories by Broadway Beat on BroadwayStars

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Mouth Currently Eating Hearty Beef Chili Temporarily Closes, Announces Plan to Reopen for Next Bite by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY - Local man Jeremy Curl’s mouth - currently taking in copious amounts of smoky, hearty beef...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Theatre Kid Misunderstands Dry January, Only Reads Tom Stoppard by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. HAVERHILL, MA. - Local theatre fan Mark Lopshin has reportedly misunderstood the meaning behind “dry...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Alien Civilization Discovers Actor’s Self-Tape Bloopers; Announces Intent to Exterminate Humanity by Broadway Beat

by Conrad Sager. @conradsager. EARTH - An alien civilization from a far-off galaxy recently concluded a vast study assessing the merits...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, December 29, 2021

REPORT: Dancer Sitting with Legs in Weird Position by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. SAN FRANCISCO - Theatre dancer Tessa Brogue has been seen sitting in a normal social setting with...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Mr. Cellophane Sued for Trademark Infringement After Refusing to Go By “Mr. Transparent Wrapping” by Broadway Beat

by Lisa Cowan. @lisallyblonde. CHICAGO - Cook County resident Amos Hart, known locally as “Mr. Cellophane”, is facing a trademark...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Sad! This Dancer Didn’t Post About Her Class at BDC and Now She’s Been Exiled by Broadway Beat

by Emily Jones. @ejonesy__. NEW YORK, NY – Aspiring Broadway theatre actor Annie Shepherd has been exiled from the theatrical community...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Gamechanger: Local Woman Discovers Ticket Not Required to Take Instagram Photo in Front of Theater by Broadway Beat

by Rich Taylor. @RTinDC. SECAUCUS, NJ - After enduring years of cyber-generated FOMO, local woman Shannon Higgins had an epiphany,...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Aw! Actor Finally Makes Parents Proud by Playing a Doctor by Broadway Beat

by Catherine Weingarten. @sarahkaneissexy. NEW YORK, NY - In our feel-good story of the week, local actor Hudson Johansburg finally made...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Steven Spielberg Convinced Rival Directors Created Omicron to Ruin "West Side Story" Ticket Sales by Broadway Beat

by Alexandra Bowman. @scripta_bene (Twitter). LOS ANGELES – Following his West Side Story adaptation's disappointing box office...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Finally: “Oh, Hello!” Impressions Deemed an Official Language by International Phonetic Association by Broadway Beat

by Grant Cleaveland. @cleaveland_g. NEW YORK, NY - Jean Gruberman, President of the International Phonetic Association, announced Friday...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Historians Discover Note From Actor to Shakespeare Asking Him to Please Just Write Normal by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, Eng - Historians studying Shakespearean theater recently uncovered evidence...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, December 8, 2021

The Broadway Beat's Official Holiday Gift Guide by Broadway Beat

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht. The holidays, whether we want them to be or not, are upon us, and with them comes that exasperating...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

We Began Reflecting on the Year in Theatre But Had a Panic Attack So We’re Outside Getting Some Air by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. Ah, another year of powerful performances, eye-popping set pieces, and engrossing stories taking over stages...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Local Woman Rebrands Toxic Relationship as “Shakespearean Comedy of Errors” by Broadway Beat

by Liz Wiest. @lizkhawiesta. JERSEY CITY, NJ - Freelance social media manager Charlotte Guerrero announced today that she has decided to...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Why I Stopped Saying “Happy Holidays” and Started Saying “And That’s What You Missed on Glee” by Broadway Beat

by Vanessa Ullman. December can only bring one of two things: Oscar bait movies to write down in your Notes app and ignore until March,...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Study Finds 90% of Americans Don’t Notice When Carolers Harmonize, So Calm Down, Debra by Broadway Beat

by Brendan Leonard. @brennylen. GREENWICH, CT. - A new study conducted by the Fünkly-Fresh Musicology Institute of Connecticut has sent...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Friend’s One-Man Show Canceled Due to Positive Case of It Sucking by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY - Will this pandemic ever end? Local actor and your friend Robert Jelio’s run of his one-man...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

REPORT: That One Girl You Got Your BFA With Still Calls Her Non-Industry Boyfriend a Muggle by Broadway Beat

by Elanna White. @Ewelannawhite. NEW YORK, NY- Local BFA graduate Ann Barrett clutched her Culture cold brew and cookie this morning,...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, November 24, 2021

"Annie Live!" Updates Political Lyrics to Support Beliefs of Whoever Owns Most NBC Stock by Broadway Beat

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht. NEW YORK, NY – The sun’ll come out tonight! NBC’s newest live-broadcast musical – joining the ranks of...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Local Middle School’s New Theatre Budget Technically Makes It World’s 56th Largest Military by Broadway Beat

by Grant Cleaveland. @cleaveland_g. UTICA, NY - Auburn Middle School’s theatre director Sandra Vaughn announced an impressive new budget...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Dance Captain Fails to Convince Anyone They Took the Job Reluctantly by Broadway Beat

by Justin Avery Smith. @JustAVerySmith. BOSTON - Taylor Dorado, star of The Bartoli Theater’s production of Chicago as Billy Flynn, put...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Musical Theatre Edger Keeps Hitting New Leading Tone but Never Modulates for Final Chorus by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. WESTCHESTER, NY - While endlessly repeating the chorus of a song this week, singer Annabelle Linder...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Telecharge Announces Plan to Make Website Even Worse by Broadway Beat

by Caitlin Berg. @caitlinberg (Instagram), @caitlinhberg (Twitter). NEW YORK, NY - Telecharge announced today, shortly after raising...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2021

BFA Student Told to “Use That” After Apartment Catches Fire, Dog Runs Away, Bus Hits Shit Out of Her by Broadway Beat

by Syd Deone Cooper. @syd.deone. NEW YORK, NY. - The show must go on! Under the guidance of her professors, BFA Sophomore, Lucy Fabray,...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Uh-Oh: That Old, Boring Paternal Character Just Walked Onstage Alone in a Spotlight by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. NEW YORK, NY - As the generic musical reached its most banal expanse of scenes, the red flag of all...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

BREAKING: Local Women Invent Acting by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. EARTH - Reports are surfacing this morning that two local women - Rachel Zegler and Ariana Debose, stars of...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Modern "Caroline, or Change" Sees Caroline Keeping All of Noah's Bitcoin by Broadway Beat

by Tricia Davenport. NEW YORK, NY - Producers of Broadway’s revival of Caroline, or Change are modernizing the Tony Kushner musical, with...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM
Monday, November 15, 2021
Wednesday, November 10, 2021

We’re Ready to Eat But Freestyle Love Supreme Won’t Stop Freestyling About What They're Thankful For by Broadway Beat

by Steven Verdile. Instagram @StevenVerdileCreative, Twitter @StevenVerdile. NEW YORK, NY - When The Broadway Beat team sat down for...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

Broadway Eases Burden On Performers, Limits Schedule to One Single 168-Hour Show Per Week by Broadway Beat

by Devin Wallace. @thedevinwallace. NEW YORK, NY - The Broadway League announced today - in an effort to minimize burnout and exhaustion...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

BREAKING: Stagedooring Not Over Because of Pandemic But Because You're All Too Fucking Weird by Broadway Beat

by Caitlin Berg. @caitlinhberg Twitter, @caitlinberg Instagram. NEW YORK, NY - While previously announced that actors would no longer...

SOURCE: at 12:00AM

All that Chat

Sep 14, 2021: Chicago - Ambassador Theatre
Oct 17, 2021: Dana H. - Lyceum Theatre
Mar 28, 2022: Plaza Suite - Hudson Theatre
Apr 07, 2022: The Minutes - Studio 54
Apr 28, 2022: Macbeth - Lyceum Theatre