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9 stories from The Onion

Scholars Discover 23 Blank Pages That May As Well Be Lost Samuel Beckett Play - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Just weeks after the centennial of the birth of pioneering minimalist playwright Samuel Beckett, archivists analyzing papers from his Paris estate uncovered a small stack of blank paper that…

SOURCE: The Onion at 11:13am on April 3, 2016

Psychiatrists Treating <i>Phantom Of The Opera</i> Viewers For Post-Melodramatic Stress Disorder

Hee hee...

SOURCE: The Onion at 5:58pm on May 25, 2015

'Loud, Desperate Need For Approval' Leads Tony Nominations - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

With the announcement of the 67th Annual Tony Award nominations Tuesday morning, new Broadway musical Loud, Desperate Need For Approval is leading the pack with an impressive 13 nominations …

SOURCE: The Onion at 9:03am on May 3, 2015

Report: Folks, Bette Midler Is Back On Broadway And Not A Minute Too Soon | The Onion - America's Finest News Source by The Onion

According to a report released this week by the Brookings Institution, actress, singer, and comedienne extraordinaire Bette Midler is finally back on The Great White Way in a dynamite new on…

SOURCE: The Onion at 2:34pm on April 26, 2013

Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In 'Les Misérables'

Russell Crowe is generating Oscar buzz for his 'Les Mis' performance as a man who is a much worse singer than all the people around him.

SOURCE: The Onion at 5:24pm on January 9, 2013

High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network by Onion News Network

High school theater's brightest stars gathered last night to see who would take home the coveted award for Most Awkward Kiss.

SOURCE: The Onion at 8:09am on June 2, 2011

White House To Hold Second Auditions This Week For Nationwide Production Of 'Guys And Dolls' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

White House officials announced Monday that a second round of auditions will be held this Thursday, and that the show's director, President Barack Obama, is still looking for the perfect per…

SOURCE: The Onion at 12:05pm on April 7, 2011

God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

SOURCE: The Onion at 12:00am on October 1, 2001

Helvetica Bold Oblique Sweeps Fontys

James and I were walking past the 'Thousand Clowns' theatre one day, and he looked up and said, "Look! Helvetica!" This award warms my heart.

SOURCE: The Onion at 12:00am on August 29, 2001
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