Things I Learned While Watching the 2013 Academy Awards
1) I have not set foot in a movie theater in a full calendar year, at least.2) Nonetheless, missing the awards telecast was simply not a possibility.3) Seth McFarlane is cute, charming, and all too often a walking justification for other peoples' casual racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, and/or homophobia.4) Shirley Bassey is still alive.5) Jack Nicholson no longer is, but his spirit roams the Earth in a deranged Merry P…
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