Alien Civilization Discovers Actor's Self-Tape Bloopers; Announces Intent to Exterminate Humanity by Broadway Beat

by Conrad Sager. @conradsager. EARTH - An alien civilization from a far-off galaxy recently concluded a vast study assessing the merits...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on January 1, 2022☆⚑

Mouth Currently Eating Hearty Beef Chili Temporarily Closes, Announces Plan to Reopen for Next Bite by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY - Local man Jeremy Curl's mouth - currently taking in copious amounts of smoky, hearty beef...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on January 1, 2022☆⚑

Sad! This Dancer Didn't Post About Her Class at BDC and Now She's Been Exiled by Broadway Beat

by Emily Jones. @ejonesy__. NEW YORK, NY " Aspiring Broadway theatre actor Annie Shepherd has been exiled from the theatrical community...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 29, 2021☆⚑

Mr. Cellophane Sued for Trademark Infringement After Refusing to Go By "Mr. Transparent Wrapping" by Broadway Beat

by Lisa Cowan. @lisallyblonde. CHICAGO - Cook County resident Amos Hart, known locally as "Mr. Cellophane", is facing a trademark...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 29, 2021☆⚑

REPORT: Dancer Sitting with Legs in Weird Position by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. SAN FRANCISCO - Theatre dancer Tessa Brogue has been seen sitting in a normal social setting with...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 29, 2021☆⚑

Gamechanger: Local Woman Discovers Ticket Not Required to Take Instagram Photo in Front of Theater by Broadway Beat

by Rich Taylor. @RTinDC. SECAUCUS, NJ - After enduring years of cyber-generated FOMO, local woman Shannon Higgins had an epiphany,...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 28, 2021☆⚑

Steven Spielberg Convinced Rival Directors Created Omicron to Ruin "West Side Story" Ticket Sales by Broadway Beat

by Alexandra Bowman. @scripta_bene (Twitter). LOS ANGELES " Following his West Side Story adaptation's disappointing box office...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 22, 2021☆⚑

Aw! Actor Finally Makes Parents Proud by Playing a Doctor by Broadway Beat

by Catherine Weingarten. @sarahkaneissexy. NEW YORK, NY - In our feel-good story of the week, local actor Hudson Johansburg finally made...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 22, 2021☆⚑

Finally: "Oh, Hello!" Impressions Deemed an Official Language by International Phonetic Association by Broadway Beat

by Grant Cleaveland. @cleaveland_g. NEW YORK, NY - Jean Gruberman, President of the International Phonetic Association, announced Friday...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 15, 2021☆⚑

Historians Discover Note From Actor to Shakespeare Asking Him to Please Just Write Normal by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, Eng - Historians studying Shakespearean theater recently uncovered evidence...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 15, 2021☆⚑

The Broadway Beat's Official Holiday Gift Guide by Broadway Beat

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht. The holidays, whether we want them to be or not, are upon us, and with them comes that exasperating...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 8, 2021☆⚑

We Began Reflecting on the Year in Theatre But Had a Panic Attack So We're Outside Getting Some Air by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. Ah, another year of powerful performances, eye-popping set pieces, and engrossing stories taking over stages...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 8, 2021☆⚑

Local Woman Rebrands Toxic Relationship as "Shakespearean Comedy of Errors" by Broadway Beat

by Liz Wiest. @lizkhawiesta. JERSEY CITY, NJ - Freelance social media manager Charlotte Guerrero announced today that she has decided to...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 1, 2021☆⚑

Study Finds 90% of Americans Don't Notice When Carolers Harmonize, So Calm Down, Debra by Broadway Beat

by Brendan Leonard. @brennylen. GREENWICH, CT. - A new study conducted by the Fünkly-Fresh Musicology Institute of Connecticut has sent...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 1, 2021☆⚑

Why I Stopped Saying "Happy Holidays" and Started Saying "And That's What You Missed on Glee" by Broadway Beat

by Vanessa Ullman. December can only bring one of two things: Oscar bait movies to write down in your Notes app and ignore until March,...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 1, 2021☆⚑

Friend's One-Man Show Canceled Due to Positive Case of It Sucking by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY - Will this pandemic ever end? Local actor and your friend Robert Jelio's run of his one-man...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 1, 2021☆⚑

REPORT: That One Girl You Got Your BFA With Still Calls Her Non-Industry Boyfriend a Muggle by Broadway Beat

by Elanna White. @Ewelannawhite. NEW YORK, NY- Local BFA graduate Ann Barrett clutched her Culture cold brew and cookie this morning,...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on December 1, 2021☆⚑

Local Middle School's New Theatre Budget Technically Makes It World's 56th Largest Military by Broadway Beat

by Grant Cleaveland. @cleaveland_g. UTICA, NY - Auburn Middle School's theatre director Sandra Vaughn announced an impressive new budget...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 24, 2021☆⚑

"Annie Live!" Updates Political Lyrics to Support Beliefs of Whoever Owns Most NBC Stock by Broadway Beat

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht. NEW YORK, NY " The sun'll come out tonight! NBC's newest live-broadcast musical " joining the ranks of...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 24, 2021☆⚑

Musical Theatre Edger Keeps Hitting New Leading Tone but Never Modulates for Final Chorus by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. WESTCHESTER, NY - While endlessly repeating the chorus of a song this week, singer Annabelle Linder...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 24, 2021☆⚑

Telecharge Announces Plan to Make Website Even Worse by Broadway Beat

by Caitlin Berg. @caitlinberg (Instagram), @caitlinhberg (Twitter). NEW YORK, NY - Telecharge announced today, shortly after raising...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 24, 2021☆⚑

Dance Captain Fails to Convince Anyone They Took the Job Reluctantly by Broadway Beat

by Justin Avery Smith. @JustAVerySmith. BOSTON - Taylor Dorado, star of The Bartoli Theater's production of Chicago as Billy Flynn, put...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 24, 2021☆⚑

BFA Student Told to "Use That" After Apartment Catches Fire, Dog Runs Away, Bus Hits Shit Out of Her by Broadway Beat

by Syd Deone Cooper. @syd.deone. NEW YORK, NY. - The show must go on! Under the guidance of her professors, BFA Sophomore, Lucy Fabray,...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 23, 2021☆⚑

Uh-Oh: That Old, Boring Paternal Character Just Walked Onstage Alone in a Spotlight by Broadway Beat

by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz. NEW YORK, NY - As the generic musical reached its most banal expanse of scenes, the red flag of all...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 17, 2021☆⚑

BREAKING: Local Women Invent Acting by Broadway Beat

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. EARTH - Reports are surfacing this morning that two local women - Rachel Zegler and Ariana Debose, stars of...

SOURCE: www.thebroadwaybeat.com at 12:00am on November 17, 2021☆⚑